I don’t pick topics to write about.
Most of the time, I don’t even pick what I think about.
Sometimes ideas just like to hang out for a while.
I will ponder, consider, and think about various ideas.
I like to mull them over and see where they go.
Today, I’m going to tell you about something scary.
It’s not going to seem scary to most of you
but it was really hard for me.
I’m sharing it because there’s a part of me that likes to pretend it was no big deal.
But it was.
We have this Christmas tradition on my side of the family.
We always make presents for each family member.
It is by far my favorite Christmas tradition!
Making something for someone is incredibly personal.
Part of it is exciting and creative.
The other part is sort of …difficult.
I always feel quite vulnerable when I make something for someone.
Why?
Well, at least for me, it’s almost like what I make represents me in a way.
It represents my time, my ideas, my design, what I thought they would like.
If someone doesn’t like what I made, it’s basically a rejection of my idea.
I’m an adult and it’s still difficult for me to differentiate
between someone rejecting my idea and someone rejecting me.
It’s a weakness, I know
but I know it’s there and I try to think logically through my feelings.
And we all know logic and feelings go hand-in-hand, right?
…
Anyway, this year was a little tricky in the craft department.
We have plenty of supplies and LOTS of ideas
but as far as time goes, there’s not much to spare
between myself, a husband, 5 year old, 2 year old, and a baby.
So, this year, I didn’t think I would be able to make anything.
I was pretty disappointed by this.
Of course, my family would understand.
They’ll love me no matter what.
I still wanted to do something.
So I started to think, mull, consider the possibilities.
One night, while talking with my husband, it finally hit me!
I could give my siblings something incredibly valuable to me.
Maybe it’s cliché to some but after 10 years of being a Mormon,
I have never given any scriptures to my family.
I knew what I needed to give this year.
I needed to give my siblings The Book of Mormon.
Seriously?!!
You’re probably thinking, “Oooo! Giving a GIFT! So scary!!!”
Allow me to explain why:
If giving something I MADE to someone else is intimidating and personal,
of COURSE giving something that’s incredibly important to me would be even tougher!!
This book is not just a book.
It has changed my life in a way that can never be undone.
It has blessed me beyond my comprehension.
It has blessed me, my husband, my children, my friends.
Everything I believe and do is influenced by that book.
I love that book.
I will always love The Book of Mormon.
So, here’s the needle to thread:
I have to give something away that is important to me.
I want to give it in such a way that it’s absolutely clear to the recipients
that I love them, accept them, would walk through fire for them
regardless of whether they believe this book or not.
I also want to make my own position absolutely clear
that I believe, honor, and know this book is the word of God.
My greatest fear through this process is my family will think I’m judging them.
My greatest fear in LIFE has to do with rejection.
I don’t want to be alone and I don’t want to bother people.
So this was a crazy cocktail of fear made up just for me!
Oh joy!
I pondered and prayed about this every day for a while.
Heavenly Father blessed me with confidence and a plan.
It was pretty simple: include a card.
I wrote a personal card to each of them.
I expressed my love for them and our family.
I told them how proud I was of them and that I will always be proud of them.
I included some personal details of what impressed me about them
and what they taught me.
I prayed about each sibling and each card I wrote.
I included a little note in each set of scriptures.
I think they each said, “This book has blessed my life. I know it’s true!”
Simple and honest.
I wasn’t there on Christmas when they opened up the cards and gifts.
But I know they felt my love.
Even if they never accept the book in the way I have accepted it,
I’m really grateful I gave them one.
My siblings are my greatest friends.
I thank Heavenly Father all the time for my family.
And as far as I can tell, that’s the message they received on Christmas.
Most of the time, I don’t even pick what I think about.
Sometimes ideas just like to hang out for a while.
I will ponder, consider, and think about various ideas.
I like to mull them over and see where they go.
Today, I’m going to tell you about something scary.
It’s not going to seem scary to most of you
but it was really hard for me.
I’m sharing it because there’s a part of me that likes to pretend it was no big deal.
But it was.
We have this Christmas tradition on my side of the family.
We always make presents for each family member.
It is by far my favorite Christmas tradition!
Making something for someone is incredibly personal.
Part of it is exciting and creative.
The other part is sort of …difficult.
I always feel quite vulnerable when I make something for someone.
Why?
Well, at least for me, it’s almost like what I make represents me in a way.
It represents my time, my ideas, my design, what I thought they would like.
If someone doesn’t like what I made, it’s basically a rejection of my idea.
I’m an adult and it’s still difficult for me to differentiate
between someone rejecting my idea and someone rejecting me.
It’s a weakness, I know
but I know it’s there and I try to think logically through my feelings.
And we all know logic and feelings go hand-in-hand, right?
…
Anyway, this year was a little tricky in the craft department.
We have plenty of supplies and LOTS of ideas
but as far as time goes, there’s not much to spare
between myself, a husband, 5 year old, 2 year old, and a baby.
So, this year, I didn’t think I would be able to make anything.
I was pretty disappointed by this.
Of course, my family would understand.
They’ll love me no matter what.
I still wanted to do something.
So I started to think, mull, consider the possibilities.
One night, while talking with my husband, it finally hit me!
I could give my siblings something incredibly valuable to me.
Maybe it’s cliché to some but after 10 years of being a Mormon,
I have never given any scriptures to my family.
I knew what I needed to give this year.
I needed to give my siblings The Book of Mormon.
Seriously?!!
You’re probably thinking, “Oooo! Giving a GIFT! So scary!!!”
Allow me to explain why:
If giving something I MADE to someone else is intimidating and personal,
of COURSE giving something that’s incredibly important to me would be even tougher!!
This book is not just a book.
It has changed my life in a way that can never be undone.
It has blessed me beyond my comprehension.
It has blessed me, my husband, my children, my friends.
Everything I believe and do is influenced by that book.
I love that book.
I will always love The Book of Mormon.
So, here’s the needle to thread:
I have to give something away that is important to me.
I want to give it in such a way that it’s absolutely clear to the recipients
that I love them, accept them, would walk through fire for them
regardless of whether they believe this book or not.
I also want to make my own position absolutely clear
that I believe, honor, and know this book is the word of God.
My greatest fear through this process is my family will think I’m judging them.
My greatest fear in LIFE has to do with rejection.
I don’t want to be alone and I don’t want to bother people.
So this was a crazy cocktail of fear made up just for me!
Oh joy!
I pondered and prayed about this every day for a while.
Heavenly Father blessed me with confidence and a plan.
It was pretty simple: include a card.
I wrote a personal card to each of them.
I expressed my love for them and our family.
I told them how proud I was of them and that I will always be proud of them.
I included some personal details of what impressed me about them
and what they taught me.
I prayed about each sibling and each card I wrote.
I included a little note in each set of scriptures.
I think they each said, “This book has blessed my life. I know it’s true!”
Simple and honest.
I wasn’t there on Christmas when they opened up the cards and gifts.
But I know they felt my love.
Even if they never accept the book in the way I have accepted it,
I’m really grateful I gave them one.
My siblings are my greatest friends.
I thank Heavenly Father all the time for my family.
And as far as I can tell, that’s the message they received on Christmas.
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